This article is inspired by our recent conversations with young people regarding their mother’s menopause experience. Some of them, in retrospect, expressed that they wish they had known what their mothers were going through so that they could have helped.Â
This hit us hard!
This is the sad truth, isn’t it? How many families take the rants of women seriously?
In fact, it is hard for anyone (even the woman herself) to believe that she might need help!
Open and healthy conversations about menopausal changes (or any women’s health matters) are rare in our families. Even the women themselves are not sure why they experience changes suddenly in midlife or are conditioned/ expected to bear all the inconveniences and continue their daily lives as usual.Â
Does one need a greater silencer than the normalization and trivialization of pain and suffering by other women (especially, the elderly)?
Even celebrity moms are not spared from ridicule!Â
Wanna change this narrative for your mother? Read on!
Have you noticed changes in her behavior?
Is she not being her usual confident/ enthusiastic self?
Mood swings? Irritable? Forgetful? Fatigued? Confused?
Is she retreating from socializing?
Is she becoming increasingly stressed and anxious at work?
Does everything point to her being ‘hormonal’?
It is time you rise to the occasion! Let her know you are on her side
There is no better feeling than knowing that you are not alone when you are on an unknown terrain!
You heard it right. In most cases, it is a new and strange experience for a woman. She might be clueless and not even have the vocabulary to describe her symptoms.Â
However, knowing that she has your support can make a world of difference to her!
It is a great boost to her mental health. You can persuade her to share her experiences and help figure out the right solutions to navigate this phase.
Make your hesitant mom read this:Â Effective communication tips for midlife women.
Be her accountability partner
She might be experiencing heavy bleeding or irregular cycles, joint pains, sleep issues, hot flashes, feeling withdrawn or overwhelmed due to hormonal effects, gaining weight, and many others.
Educate yourself and her:Â Menopause is more than the end of menstruation
A healthy lifestyle is key to healthy aging.
Point her in the right direction when it comes to her nutrition needs.
Exercising can do wonders for her physical and mental health, especially strength training. Help her get started (under professional guidance).
Find an empathetic psychologist if she has mental health issues.
Find an experienced medical professional who can help her.
Find a support system or community that can help her.
Regular full health checkups, breast care, regular visits to the gynecologist for PAP smears, and pelvic exams are recommended for all women.
After all, she has been your support system for all these years.Â
It is your turn now!
Recommended reading:Â Preventative health screenings for women
Be her cheerleader
Your mother might already have too much on her plate to manage. She might be feeling overwhelmed about the changes her body is going through may start having some health issues, and may be insecure about how people around her will perceive her.
A little empathy might be all she needs to figure this out.Â
Be the bridge between her and your family- Talk to other family members who find her behavior strange or pass judgemental comments (especially men). She may be already feeling drained or not vocal enough for self-advocacy.
Help set reminders for her new health routine.Â
Discussing her progress/ challenges can be encouraging or even spark new ideas. Just like how she’d do for you.
Encourage her to have ME time (pursue a hobby, indulge in self-care, meet her friends).Â
We understand this is not easy for you and for a parent to listen to their kids but with an open mind and conversations, it will be worth it.
Seeing your mother navigate this new normal with support can be a highly rewarding moment for you!
It is a win-win.Â
Try our tips and let us know or comment below to let us know what you have tried.
Reach out to us for support by email contact@miyarahealth.com
This article was written by Ayshwarya Ravichandran PhDÂ